Infancy and Childhood are the most beautiful phases in ones life. Its very unfortunate though, that when we are children, we can’t wait to grow up, to become adults.
As an infant, I wasn’t very cheerful or happy. On the contrary, I was cranky, fearful and clingy. God knows why but, I would only feel secure in my moms arms, I wouldn’t go to anyone else, not even my dad; and if I didn’t see my mom around me, even for a few minutes, I would start crying and whining like someone was beating me up or torturing me.This habit of mine gave my mom a lot of trouble, to the extent that everyone felt pity for her.
Now that I’m a grown up and I look back at these things, I feel pity for my mom and often apologise to her for all the embarrassment that my tantrums have caused her.My sympathies go to my dad as well. I feel that his situation was even worse than my moms. I mean just imagine, his own daughter would refuse to go to him. I can’t even imagine what he must’ve felt back then. There was also a time when I saw my dad after a long time and failed to recognise him because of the scary beard that he’d grown. I wonder how heartbroken he must’ve felt.
Even as a six year old, I was always slightly scared of my dad and maintained some distance from him. I would still refuse to go out with him if my mom wasn’t accompanying us.
My dad has always been a man of few words. He appears to be a very serious person who can’t tolerate any nonsense. I guess his slightly introverted and serious nature was what made me maintain my distance from him. Even a lot of my friends would tell me that they were scared of my dad and I had absolutely no explanation to give them.
Today, at 18, I find all of this so funny! I wish I could become little again and spend more time with my dad as a kid. I don’t know what has changed over the years but today, along with being my dad, he’s also a close friend who I respect immensely. Over the years, I’ve also come to realise that he has this amazing sense of humour and while talking he keeps cracking these little jokes and it’s absolutely hilarious! Today, if I have even a slight sense of humour, its all because of him.
Even today, my friends tell me, “Shivanee, you’re dad seems so strict and serious dude!“To that, I laugh and tell them that he only “seems” strict and serious, but in reality he’s really chilled out and has a great sense of humour!
Also, only because he’s my father, he’s never forced any of his decisions on to me, he’s always taken my opinion into consideration,given me his in return and told me to do what I feel is right. He’s always been really open and i know I can talk to him about anything.I’m really thankful to him for that.
When I was young, I don’t think staying away from him would’ve been as difficult for me, as it is today, I really miss him and I hope he’s able to shift here soon.